Refilling My Cup

 It’s easy to get caught up in doing everything for everyone else. As a parent, and a wife, just trying to make it through each day, it feels like my needs fall on the back burner most days. Some days, I feel like I’m on autopilot, giving everything I have. In the middle of all the giving, it’s easy to forget something important—I deserve love and care, too.

Loving yourself can feel harder than loving anyone else. I know I’m my own worst critic. I felt myself shrink when Calvin had to help me untangle my hair the other day, but the truth is, I needed help. Needing help made me feel like I was being a burden, and I didn’t want to ask for help, but he so freely offered. Self-love is about moments like that, reminding myself it’s okay to ask for help and that it doesn’t make me any less capable or worthy.

The truth is, I’m still learning to love myself. It’s not selfish to take care of me—it’s necessary. I can’t take care of everyone else if I’m running on empty. I need to remember that I’m important, too, and that I deserve the same care I give to the people I love.

Unmasking who I really am has taught me how important it is to honor what I need. It’s okay to set boundaries, take a breath, and ask for help when I need it. And it’s okay not to be perfect. If I want to show my kids that they are worthy of love, I have to show myself that same love. I wouldn’t want them growing up thinking they have to give until there’s nothing left of them.

So, here’s a reminder—for you and for me. Don’t forget to love yourself. Maybe it’s in the small things, like taking a minute to breathe or allowing yourself to rest. Or maybe it’s letting go of the idea that you have to be perfect. You’re just as deserving of love as anyone else, and that includes love from yourself. Just remember, you can't pour from an empty cup, and you can't hand out spoons when you don't have any left to give.