The Number Five

 So, it may sound silly but I do a lot of things in groups of 5. I count to 5, 5 times when there is something I have to do that I don’t exactly want to do, I used to put 5 spoons of sugar in my coffee (I don’t use sugar anymore), the radio and tv volume has to end with a 5 or a 0, and when I get REALLY nervous I count to 5 over and over again in my head. 

Pyschiatrists used to say, “this just doesn’t seem consistent enough to be OCD.” And I agreed. While it would really bother me, I wouldn’t think the world would end if I couldn’t do something in groups of 5. I would dwell on it, make people change the volume if it didn’t end on a 5 or 0. Things like that, BUT it wasn’t so bad that I would call it OCD. 

Well, when I was getting tested for autism, the lady asked me if I have any “repetitive tendencies” and I told her about my 5 obsession. She said “it’s hard to distinguish OCD and repetitive behaviors which is common in autism.” 

I’ve come to the conclusion, it’s not OCD. It’s not consistent enough. The number 5 just makes me happy, and I enjoy doing things in groups of 5’s. 

I think I may have chosen 5 as my “number” because it is the only number besides 1’s I can count in. Thank you Dyscalculia! 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50. I can’t do that with most other numbers. 

So basically, 5 makes me happy. Seeing 5 things at a time, makes me happy. Counting to 5 makes me happy, volume at 5 makes me happy. But it’s not OCD. Just another thing I have answers to. 

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