The Day Before

Tomorrow, we're taking Carson for some tests. I can feel his nerves; he keeps asking questions like “Are they just checking to see how smart o am?” and “Will I have to do puzzles? Are there going to be mazes?” But what really hit me was when he said “I probably won't get as many answers right as you did.” If I had been driving, I might have had to pull over. 

Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I replied, “Carson, Mommy got a lot of questions wrong, and that’s okay!” In that instant, a wave of emotions washed over me. I just hope my kids never feel what I did—like they’re not enough, just average, or like a weird horse. (I’ll explain the strange horse thing later.)

It breaks my heart to think that Carson is entering this situation expecting to fail. That’s a feeling I know all too well; I grew up never believing I would succeed. But Carson is the smartest, sweetest, and most special boy I’ve ever known. No matter what happens tomorrow, I’ll love him with all my heart.


And about that zebra thing: I heard someone say, ‘There’s freedom in realizing you’re a zebra instead of just a strange horse.’ Honestly, it’s so true. Embracing our uniqueness is a journey, and I want Carson to know that being different is something to celebrate. 

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