Fragments

 After being hospitalized last year, I felt completely lost and broken. The person I thought I was seemed to disappear, leaving behind fragments I didn’t recognize. Every day felt like a battle to understand who I had become. I was searching for something—anything—that felt like me, but everything felt unfamiliar. The things I used to enjoy, the parts of me I once held onto, seemed unfamiliar. It was a kind of emptiness that words couldn’t capture, and the weight of it was overwhelming. I felt like I was living in a fog, disconnected from the world and from myself.

But slowly, piece by piece, I’ve begun to rebuild. It hasn’t been easy, and there were many moments when I didn’t think I could do it. Yet, somewhere in the mess, I found small glimmers of hope. It started with the tiniest moments—things like smiling at something that used to bring me joy or feeling a sense of calm in places that once felt chaotic. These small victories were my way of slowly reconnecting with the parts of myself I thought were lost forever. It felt like I was just going through the motions, but over time, those moments started to feel real again. I realized that even though I was broken, I wasn’t beyond repair. I was still here, I just needed help to find myself again.

In the process, I found someone I never want to lose again—me. The version of myself that I had forgotten, the one who had been buried under layers of fear, doubt, and pain. And with every new piece I put back together, I saw how much strength I had gained. It wasn’t about becoming the person I used to be, it was about embracing the person I am now. I’m learning to honor the cracks and imperfections because they tell the story of how far I’ve come.

Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days, I take steps forward, and most days, I stumble back. But that’s okay. What matters is that I’m moving, growing, and allowing myself the grace to heal at my own pace. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m becoming whole again-not because I’ve returned to who I was, but because I’ve become someone who has  more compassion for myself. The person I’ve found through all of this is someone I’m proud of, and I never want to lose her again.