Keep It Small

 When it comes to friends, I try to keep it small. It’s not because I don’t want to connect with people or because I think there’s something wrong with having a lot of friends. It’s just that, for me, smaller circles mean deeper bonds. I’ve always found comfort in the idea of a few close friends who truly get me, rather than a crowd that might only graze the surface.

In a world where it can feel like there’s pressure to be constantly social, to fill up your calendar, to have an endless list of friends, I’ve learned to appreciate the beauty in simplicity. I’d rather have a handful of people who understand my quirks, who I can text at 2 a.m. when I can’t sleep, or who know what I mean when I’m struggling to put my feelings into words.

I think it ties back to my experience with autism. Connecting with people takes energy, and I’ve always been mindful of how I spend mine. With a smaller group, I don’t feel the need to constantly explain myself or pretend to be anything I’m not. I can be the authentic version of me, even when that version is messy or quiet or needs space. It feels safer, and there’s comfort in knowing I won’t be judged for being who I am.

It’s not always easy. There are times I wonder if I’m missing out on something bigger or if I should put myself out there more. But then I remind myself that what I have is enough. The few friends I have are the kind who are there through thick and thin, the kind who notice when I get quiet, the kind who see past the masks I wore for so long. I’d trade that for a larger circle any day.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s that friendship isn’t about the numbers. It’s about the connection, the kind that holds you together when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. And for me, a few good friends will always mean more than a hundred acquaintances. Keeping it small has become my way of finding a little peace in a loud world.