Baby Steps


 We’re getting out of the house tonight. I only left the house one time since September 8th. Kind of crazy when you think about it. I guess the worst part is, I’m content with it. I feel safe here. 

Anywho, we are going to Jason and Grace’s it’s one of my two “safe spots.” I’m sure it will be fun. I will have to wash my hair, which I’m dreading. 

I used to want to go to the store throughout the week, and do instacart and LOVED it. Man, now just thinking about going to the store gives me palpitations. Not only am I scared of the world right now, part of me is scared to show my face to the world. I’m hiding.

I’m going to do it though, maybe tomorrow. I have a prescription I need to pick up. This can't be “how it is now.” I have to get past this. I can get past this. I will get past this. 

I can't spend the rest of my life stuck in my house. Calvin would never push me to do something uncomfortable, and he would be with me every step of the way. 

Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps. Baby steps. I really felt like I had to say that five times. 

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