Confrontation

 Let’s talk confrontation. I can’t do it. If someone confronts me no matter what it’s about I automatically shut down. My brain goes blank, my words get lost, I literally shut down. 

I have been this way since I can remember. I can’t stand up for myself. I just shrink. Even with people I’m comfortable with, I don’t handle confrontation well. 

When someone confronts me, a big part of me wants to just run away. But, I can’t do that so I just shrink inside of myself instead. I kind of just turn myself off in a way, I guess you could say I dissociate. Yeah, I think that’s the best way to describe it. 

Maybe it’s unhealthy to avoid conflict, but it’s the only thing I know how to do. It’s my defense mechanism. I think sometimes it makes people more angry that I disconnect, and for that I’m sorry. It’s just me, trying to protect me. 

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