I’m Not Weird

I can already feel the world misunderstanding me. Maybe it’s the autism diagnosis. Maybe they don’t understand how getting a diagnosis like that could possibly be relieving. 

Let me try and explain. My whole life I’ve done “weird” things. And some people have made sure to tell me I was “weird” or “odd” or even a “freak.” And when you hear that about yourself for long enough you start to believe it. So all this time, I thought my stimming was weird. I didn’t think there were others who thought like me. I truly just thought I just was a weirdo. Plus throw my other “issues” on top of that. I felt like a subpar human being. I felt like something was wrong with me.

Fast forward to when I got my autism diagnosis. All of the weird things I did, had a rhyme and a reason. AND there was a whole community of people who think and act like ME. 

I’m not a subpar human. I just think differently. So all of those things I called myself. All of those question marks FINALLY have answers after 32 years of wondering.

That’s why I’m happy about my diagnosis. 

I’m not weird. I’m not subpar. I’m autistic.

I’m sure some of you will never understand this. I’m sure I will lose people over this. But I am absolutely going to embrace the autism. It is part of me. It is the part of me that was lost for so long, and I finally found.

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