Hold It In

Have you ever felt like you were holding your breath for years, and if you exhale all hell WILL break loose? Like you’re carrying a burden so heavy it’s literally changing you as a person; and there is

nothing you can do about it? Have you ever carried a burden so unbearable that it makes it impossible to look people you love in the eye? I have.


It eats away at you—every day. It steals your sleep, ruins your appetite, and twists the way you see the world—and yourself.


It’s conflicting. I battled with myself for 21 years. Do I bottle it up deep inside myself and pretend it’s not there? Do I let the rage and sadness consume me? Or do I speak out and finally face that ugly, heavy, excruciating burden?


For 21 years, I pushed it down, pretended it wasn’t there, and held my breath. Literally. Held. My. Breath.


On January 18th, 2025; after 21 years, of holding by breath, I finally exhaled.

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