Exactly Enough

They’ve called me a lot of things over the years.

Too sensitive.

Too emotional.

Too intense.

Too dramatic.

Too quiet.

Too loud.

Too weird.

Too much.

And for the longest time, I believed them.

I believed that I felt wrong. That my thoughts were too big, my words too heavy, my reactions too strong. I learned how to hold it in. I learned how to smile when I wanted to scream. I learned how to shrink myself just enough to fit into their comfort zones.

But lately, I’ve been wondering….. 

what if I’m not too much?

What if they’ve just never made room for someone like me?

The world is built for noise, 

but not honesty.

It praises boldness, 

but only the kind that fits neatly into a box.

It says, “Be yourself,” 

but only if that self isn’t inconvenient.

I’ve spent so much time apologizing for the way I exist 

for stimming, for crying for inanimate objects,

for needing time alone,

for not wanting to hug people I barely know,

for taking things “too personally” 

as if that’s a flaw.

But maybe the truth is:

I’m not too much.

I’m just not easy to ignore.

And that makes people uncomfortable.

I feel things deeply. 

Joy, pain, love, grief.

I notice the small stuff.

I remember what others forget.

I carry stories in my chest and wear my heart where others hide theirs.

I’ve stopped calling that a weakness.

I don’t want to be less.

I don’t want to be softer, smaller, quieter, or easier to digest.

I want to take up space the way I was always meant to.

And if that makes me “too much,” then so be it.

Because I’m finally learning that the right people

won’t ask me to be less.

They’ll see me. 

All of me.

and say,

“Exactly enough.”